


Don't look back (unless it's to see how far you've come)

by Tourischeva



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Minor Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, gymnastics AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 18:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13106382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tourischeva/pseuds/Tourischeva
Summary: The crowd roars excitedly and for a second she can imagine those cries are for her. Lena can visualize the celebrations as her name is announced, her mother’s eyes shining with something new that she realizes is pride. The sensations are so overwhelming that she feels a relief deep in her chest.It’s almost as if it were real.-The Artistic Gymnastics AU in which Kara is a very successful 19-year-old ex-gymnast who attempts a comeback to the sport under the guidance of legendary coach Lillian Luthor, and Lena is a very talented but very insecure 19-year-old gymnast who has been raised to be a champion, but apparently only manages to disappoint her mother.





	Don't look back (unless it's to see how far you've come)

_March 2019_

Interviews are the worst part of being a gymnast.

Sure, the long hours of intense, repetitive training are hard. So are the injuries that are bound to happen when you spend days on end perfecting the most intricate of acrobatic elements, or the fact that no matter how hard you try, when you’re preparing for the Olympic Games there’s no way you’ll be able to have a normal life outside the gym. Yes, there are a lot of sacrifices that come with being an Olympic athlete.

But in Lena’s opinion this moment right here, in front of a live audience and cameras everywhere she looks, when the lights are blinding and the studio so artificially cozy seems to close in on her, when everything she says or does is monitored, oh this is the worst. She wishes she were back in the competition arena, at least in there she knows exactly what she needs to do.

But she can’t say that, can she?

“The worst part?”, Lena repeats the interviewer’s question, trying to remember everything Lillian has told her about how to act during interviews. _Look at people in the eye, Lena. Answer everything clearly and eloquently. You want to come across as an intelligent young woman, don’t you?_

“I think maybe the uncertainty,” Lena continues. “You never know what tomorrow reserves. I mean, I guess that’s life, right? But I feel like in gymnastics things change so much so fast. One day you are at the top of your game and the next you have a torn ligament. It’s a very risky sport too.”

God, that was a terrible answer. Lena can imagine the grimace on her mother’s face when she listens to this. At least the interviewer didn’t seem to mind it too much, considering that she didn’t change the polite smile that has graced her lips from the moment Lena stepped in the studio.

“I’m sure it is, miss Luthor. Now, we’re almost out of time, but I must ask you: back in 2012 your older brother became the Olympic All-Around champion. I know the circumstances were not… ideal, let’s say, but what about you? Do you have the same ambitions?”

Lena should have expected this. Of course she wouldn’t go through a full interview without a reminder of what Lex did. She knew that, she has been prepared to handle this kind of situation for years. And yet, she still feels like she’s suffocating a little bit. Deep breath. Take a deep breath and say what you’re supposed to say.

“I’d love to go to the Olympics and represent my country, it’s every gymnast’s dream. But I know it’s not easy. I’ll take it one day at a time and do my best.”

At the obviously generic, rehearsed answer the interviewer’s smile falters for the first time, but fortunately she doesn’t push further. “Well, tell me then, Lena. It’s been reported that Kara Danvers is attempting a comeback to the sport and rumor has it she’ll move to your very gym. Is it true?”

“I’m sorry, only Kara can answer this,” Lena says. She truly wishes she could confirm the news. Hopefully revealing another gymnast’s big secret would make her come across as a little more interesting than the rest of this interview is making her seem. But she knows Lillian would kill her if she did that. “I do wish her the best in her comeback,” she adds.

“Very well, Lena. Thank you very much for coming here today, and congratulations again on your American Cup title. You made us all very proud. Best of luck on your future competitions.”

“Thank you,” she answers, relieved to see the interview come to an end. It could have been worse, she thinks. “Thank you for having me.”

Lillian is the first person she sees as soon as she gets backstage. The expression on her face is unreadable, but when it comes to interviews Lena knows that’s as good as it’s going to get. At least she doesn’t seem too unhappy.

“You couldn’t wait to get out of there, could you?” is all she says as they walk to the car waiting for them.

Lena has nothing to say to that. She is tired and her ankle has been bothering her since yesterday, but she knows better than to let it show. All she wants is to get to her apartment, take a long bath and then sleep for hours. She feels drained and disappointed with herself. She knows Lillian expects more of her. Why can’t she be funny and charming like Lex used to be before… everything that happened?

It feels strange, this disappointment. Just yesterday she won the biggest individual title of her career to date and she knows she should enjoy this victory. Still, Lena can’t bring herself to do so. Along with the American Cup gold medal came a sense of responsibility that she hasn’t felt since the last Olympic cycle, or since Lex went crazy and left all the burden of carrying their family’s legacy on her shoulders, with the added chore of having to redeem the Luthor name, now.

Her phone chimes with a string of messages. She smiles despite herself, because there’s only one person who could be texting her.

_[Sam 9:44 p.m.] Good job on the interview!_

_[Sam 9:44 p.m.] You were great!!!_

Sam is too good for this world, always has been. Lena feels a pang of sadness on her chest just thinking about how long it’s been since they’ve last seen each other in person.

_[Lena 9:45 p.m.] Thanks, Sam_

_[Lena 9:49 p.m.] I was feeling nervous_

_[Sam 9:49 p.m.] You didn’t look nervous, I promise_

_[Sam 9:50 p.m.] Are you gonna go out to celebrate tonight?_

_[Lena 9:51 p.m.] Nope, I’m really tired. Just gonna go to sleep_

_[Sam 9:51 p.m.] Oh_

_[Sam 9:51 p.m.] Okay then, Lena. Good night!_

_[Lena 9:52 p.m.] Good night, Sam_

Sam has a way of making her feel better about herself, and Lena is immensely grateful for being able to call her a friend. She doesn’t have many of those, of course, and it’s true that Lena and Sam don’t talk so often anymore, but deep down she knows that Sam would be there for her no matter what. The exchange of texts made the ride home much more pleasant, and before she knows it Lena is waving her mother goodbye as Lillian’s driver pulls over in front of the gymnast’s apartment. God, she can’t wait to enjoy some peace and quiet.

* * *

 

A week later, while she slowly goes through her breakfast omelet and mentally prepares for the long day ahead of her, Lena receives another text from Sam.

_[Sam 7:31 a.m.] Did you see this?_

The text is followed by a link to a news website. _“Olympic champion Kara Danvers to be coached by rival family”_ was the title.

Oh, this again. Great, just great.

_Two-time Olympic gold medalist Kara Danvers confirmed this Wednesday that she’s moving to Metropolis to train with legendary gymnastics coach Lillian Luthor, following her decision earlier this year to attempt a comeback to the sport._

_The nineteen-year-old gymnast said that she is ecstatic to be making the move and that she hopes Luthor’s guidance can help her reach her second consecutive Olympic Games. She added, when prompted, that all the family drama surrounding her biological cousin, 2007 world all-around champion Clark Kent, and Luthor’s son, Lex, will be left in the past, and that nothing should get in the way of her training. “Mrs. Luthor has nothing to do with whatever happened in 2012. She was an incredible gymnast and is now an incredible coach and I’m sure that she only has my best interest in mind."_

_Both families have been on different sides of the tragic events of the 2012 London Olympics. Back then, 3 members of the USA’s Olympic committee and 2 gymnasts, including Kent, were mysteriously poisoned the night before the All-around finals, the most prestigious event in the sport. Andrew Martinez - the team captain - and team doctor Christopher Janson didn’t resist the effects of the poison put on their food, and died the following day. Clark Kent has since been able to make a complete recovery, but didn’t get to compete in the finals in which he was the favorite to win. Kent and other members of team USA accused Lex Luthor of being the one to poison his teammates._

_Luthor replaced Kent in the finals and ended up with the Olympic title, but was stripped of his medal in 2013, when rendered guilty of murder. To this day both Lex himself and his mother, Lillian, claim his innocence._

_Lex is currently serving a 32-year sentence in jail, while Lillian owns Luthor’s Gymnastics Academy where dozens of gymnasts train under the guidance of 3 different coaches. For the last 6 years, however, Lillian herself has been the personal coach of one gymnast only: her youngest daughter, Lena._

_Lena Luthor was part of the 2017 and 2018 World Championship teams that won gold in the team all-around. Individually, however, the youngest member of the world-renowned gymnastics family so far has not been able to repeat her mother’s and older brother’s success, but that may be changing. Earlier this month she was the country’s representative in the 2019 American Cup, the biggest annual international competition held in American soil, and she intends to make this year’s World Championships and next year’s Tokyo Olympic Games and improve her results in doing so._

The end of the article was a paragraph highlighting the long string of accomplishments of both Lillian and Kara’s careers and the questions of whether combining their strengths would end up being a winning formula or a recipe for disaster.

Lena sighed. It’s not that she doesn’t like Kara. She was an amazing gymnast and yes, it’s true they don’t know each other very well, but from the little time they’ve spent together in competitions and training camps preparing for the selection of the 2016 Olympic team she could tell that Kara is a sweet and overall pleasant person. The problem is that her move to Metropolis and choice to train with Lillian were bound to bring back memories that Lena prefers to keep forgotten.

_[Sam 7:34 a.m.] So it´s today right?_

_[Lena 7:34 a.m.] Yes, she’s coming today_

_[Sam 7:34 a.m.] Are you upset?_

_[Sam 7:35 a.m.] That she’s going to train there I mean_

_[Lena 7:35 a.m.] No_

She doesn’t send anything else.

Lena doesn’t really know what she’s feeling, and she hopes Sam would understand and not force her to talk about whatever is going on in her mind. She waits for a couple minutes to see if Sam is going to text back, and when she concludes that she won’t Lena starts getting ready to leave. A few seconds later her phone rings.

“Are you sure you’re not upset?” Sam asks in lieu of a greeting.

“Yeah. Yeah, Kara is nice.”

“I know, but everything is going to change over there. You know Lillian wi-”

“I know!” she interrupts. “I don’t wanna talk about it, Sam.”

Sam is silent for such a long time that Lena thinks she’s about to hang up. Finally, the response comes through:

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena whispers back. The last thing she wants is to upset her friend.

“It’s okay. We’ll talk later, all right?”

“All right. I’ll call you tonight and tell you how things went, okay?”

“Kay. Bye Lena”

“Bye, Sam”. 

* * *

 

When she arrives, Lena can see the dozens of journalists and fans that surround the building all the way from the entrance of the parking lot. Kara must have already gotten there, and apparently her popularity hasn’t changed one bit. She has to squeeze through the crowd to get to the doors, but no one bats an eye at her, which brings her an immense sense of relief – the last thing she wants right now is to have to talk to the press.

Inside the gym the atmosphere feels just as charged as outside, with Lillian in one corner of the gym talking to the other coaches in rushed tones, and Kara Danvers at the very center of the floor, with an ever-increasing group of little gymnasts around her trying to talk louder than everyone else to catch Kara’s attention.

As soon as she steps inside Eve comes up to her, with the excited expression she normally has on her face.

“Hi Lena! Kara Danvers is here!” She states the obvious.

“I can see that,” Lena chuckles in response. At sixteen years old, Eve is only three years younger than her, but she still retains the same childish wonder she’s had ever since she started training in her gym, more than 10 years ago.

“I can’t believe we’re going to train in the same gym as Kara Danvers! She is one of my favorite gymnasts!”

“Eve, calm down,” Lena laughs again. “You remember you’re a national team member too, don’t you?”

“I know!” Eve stretches the word. “That’s so cool, oh my God, Lena!”

Lena doesn’t have time to answer because Lillian raised her voice, informing everyone that warm ups were about to start. The younger girls split in groups and follow their own coaches, while Lena and Eve, followed by the other older gymnasts, go to the warm up gym on the next building over. She is about to sit down on her usual corner of the training mat and start stretching when a voice, suddenly very close, startles her.

“Hey, Lena!” Kara says.

She turns around and meets Kara’s gaze for the first time in almost three years. For a few seconds Lena is rendered speechless, probably because she wasn’t expecting the interruption, she’d say. But now that they are so close Lena can see how blue Kara’s eyes are. Were they always so blue? She really can’t remember, and for a while all she can focus on is how beautiful they look. Kara also seems taller than Lena remembers and her hair, though tied up on a high ponytail, is definitely longer too.

A couple of years is a long time, she reasons. No wonder she looks different.

But not her smile. The warm, sweet smile that now graces Kara’s face is the same exact one that she had on even when they both faced the hardest stages of the Olympic selection process, back in 2016. The smile that enchanted audiences worldwide and became one of her trademarks. There’s a lot that Lena doesn’t know about Kara – they were teammates, competitors, really, not friends – but she could never forget this smile.

“Oh, hi Kara,” she politely smiles back.

“Long time no see, right? Oh, wow, it’s really been a very, very long time, hasn’t it? I think the last time we saw each other was- ”

“Olympic Trials.” Lena finishes for her.

As if she could forget that day.

* * *

 

_July 2016 – Rio de Janeiro Olympic Trials_

_If Lena focuses hard enough she can just make out the voice of the arena announcer shouting in the distance._

_“In less than five minutes we’ll have the names of the 2016 Olympic Team!”_

_The crowd roars excitedly and for a second she can imagine those cries are for her. Lena can visualize the celebrations as her name is announced, her mother’s eyes shining with something new that she realizes is pride. The sensations are so overwhelming that she feels a relief deep in her bones._

_It’s almost as if it were real._

_But then the sound of a door opening brings her crashing back to reality. Mrs. Grant comes in and silence immediately takes over the small, cramped room where she is surrounded by the other eleven members of USA’s Women’s Artistic Gymnastics National Team. Anytime now she will announce the names of the five girls who will represent the country at the Olympics, Lena knows that, but she can’t focus on the speech the team coordinator is giving. She knows what she’s saying, though. That they should all be proud of themselves. That making it this far is in itself a great accomplishment._

_It isn’t._

_This moment. This moment right now is the most anxious Lena has felt in her entire life, and one glance around the room tells her that she’s not alone in feeling like this. Most girls are huddled together, holding hands and exchanging nervous looks. Lena has always thrived on training and competing by herself. It’s easier this way, her mother has always told her, with no one to distract her, no one to bring her down. She does need to focus more than others, it’s true. So she’s never been one for socializing, especially with the other team members – her competitors._

_But now she feels so alone that for a fleeting second she wishes she had someone to hold her hand too. She wishes Sam were here. She wishes, just for a little while, in secret and deep, deep down in her heart, that she could get up and walk over to where Maggie Sawyer is engulfed in some sort of group hug with Alex and Kara Danvers and let them wrap their arms around her as well._

_She thinks she must be going crazy._

_So Lena stays rooted in her seat, heart pounding in her chest and breathing ragged, waiting for Mrs. Grant to finally reveal her fate. To no one’s surprise, Maggie Sawyer’s and Alex Danvers’ are the first names to be announced, followed by Lucy Lane’s._

_Which is okay. It’s to be expected._

_The next gymnast called was Susan Vasquez, and Lena knows that strategically that was the obvious choice for the team. Vasquez’s best events are the uneven bars and balance beam, and her potential scores on those complement Maggie’s specialty on vault and floor perfectly._

_She also knows that the last spot needs to go to an all-arounder. Someone who could be trusted to contribute for the team with routines in all four events, at the same time as being strong enough a gymnast to make it to individual finals._

_From the corner of her eyes she can see Alex Danvers move to stand behind her sister, wrapping both arms tightly around her shoulders and dropping a quick kiss to the top of her hair. Kara, who looks like she is seconds away from breaking into tears, turns her head, looks at Lena and smiles at her. Lena tries to smile back, but she’s too nervous to know if she managed to do so._

_It could go to Kara, this spot. She is consistent and strong, and her gymnastics has an effortless aspect that Lena could only dream of achieving. She also doesn’t carry the last name of a murderer everywhere she goes._

_But no. It couldn’t. This spot needs to be hers, it needs to, otherwise all the effort she’s put on will have gone to waste. Otherwise her family’s name will only be dragged down even further, and mother will never forgive her._

_Her whole body is trembling in anticipation, now, and there’s nobody to hold her in her arms. Her breathing gets shallower by the second and Lena can practically hear the pounding in her chest. “Please say my name. Please say my name. Please-”_

_“Kara Danvers!”_

* * *

 

Kara looks sheepish for a second, like she knows exactly what Lena is thinking about and needs to apologize for some reason. It makes Lena feel unreasonably annoyed, because Kara isn’t guilty of Lena’s failure as a gymnast.

Kara makes a move as if to hug Lena, but thankfully thinks better of it, using her arm to point to the empty space next to where Lena plans to sit.

“Um, is it okay if I warm up right here? I’m not familiar with the routine you guys follow in this gym and you’re the only person I know. Oh, but only if you don’t mind, of course. If you want to be alone I can –”

“It’s fine,” Lena interrupts the blonde’s rambling, “I can show you.”

“Thank you!” Lena just nods and moves on to start stretching.

She looks up to find out that Lillian is observing her with a curious look in her eyes. Lena doesn’t know what that expression means and honestly, she isn’t interested in finding out, so she turns to Kara and tells her what to do next. Kara only response is such a brilliant grin that makes it seems like Lena has given her a freaking gift. Oh, this is going to be a long year.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is the first chapter of anything that I've ever posted anywhere.  
> English is not my first language so my bad if it's terrible. 
> 
> Please let me know if you liked it, if there's anything you want to see as the story progresses, or if there's anything I can do better!
> 
> Also, tell me if you need any clarifications regarding gymnastics competitions, the team selection process or something else.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
